catching up in California

We've been without internet access for the last couple of days, so I've got to fill in the gaps a bit. C and I are in San Diego tonight, our second night in southern California. It was a beautiful day in San Diego today; chilly, but nothing like the sub-freezing temperatures we'd been shivering through the past few days.

C and I wrote the following bit while driving through the Mojave Desert yesterday. I was driving and she was typing, for the record. I like to call it, "Why Everything Wrong with California is Gov. Schwarzenegger's Fault; A Series in Eight Parts."

We're in California, in the middle of the Mojave desert. It just occured to us that we're in Arnold Schwarzenegger country, and suddenly, things make so much more sense. In the hour that we've been in California, we've noticed the following things wrong with the state:

1. The smog. We can't even see the mountains for all the smog. There isn't a city around for miles and miles, and yet there's smog.


2. The sun does not set. We don't know where it went, but it didn't set. It's dark now, and we can't see the cactus, and it's only 4:30 in the afternoon; we hypothesize that the sunset was lost behind the enormous head of Arnold Schwarzenegger.


3. This highway has some major holes. No further explanation needed.


4. The rest stop is broken; we think they--the people of California headed by the big head of Arnold--did it on purpose so we couldn't take a picture of the cactus in the Mojave desert. First, they told us there would be a rest stop in 18 miles; then the rest stop was closed down, and the sign said "next rest stop 78 miles."


5. The Coke bottle, which was purchased in Arizona, is not compatible with the state of California; it won't open despite previously having been opened in Arizona.


6. There are too many cars, and when they break, people kick them with hatred and throw things at them; this might be related to item number 3, the holes in the road.


7. The gas is $1.99 a gallon. Luckily, we drive a hybrid (and no, we don't need to plug it in). We get 42.6 miles to the gallon, but we still have to fill up every 426 miles or so (preferably a little more often).


8. We're 300 miles from LA, and already there's a traffic jam.